Fran's Ramblings

Here, there and everywhere

And by that, I mean that there's no unifying theme going on, just me, rambling on.  Living up to the blog name.

I do hope you had a great Fourth of July.  Ours was nicely quiet, except of course for all the illegal fireworks being shot off.  There were some being set off one street over from us that looked to be fairly impressive, more than clearing the trees for a pretty spiffy display. 

Right up until the cops showed up, of course.  But the kids at the end of our cul de sac were mightily impressed.

Let's see, what other things.

No, I don't have a whole huge comment about Palin stepping down as governor.  You've heard all the speculation and whatnot.  All I want to say -- and let me point out that this is SPECULATION on my part (I don't want to get sued along with all the others, although I know what I'd do with the big bucks I'd get from the countersuit) sheer speculation -- is that I'm wondering how entirely sane she is.

I'm not talking right-wing whack-job nutso, she's all that and proud of it.  No, I'm wondering if somewhere she doesn't really hear voices.  I listened to part of her speech, and paranoid came to mind.  Along with possibly schizophrenic.  It could very well be that she's just exhausted, but. . .man. 

Anyway, that's my THEORY.  Remember, just a theory, could be disproved, I could be completely wrong.  Time will tell.

But if she adds me to the list of folks she's suing, won't that be a kick for my blog numbers? 

Yeah, okay, I don't really want attention like that.  But then I don't expect to get it.

Besides, if I can't get YOU guys to take me seriously and answer a question or two, why would a famous politician take notice of me?  Yeah, not gonna happen, and I'm good with that.

Hmm, what else?  What ran through what passes for my brain?

It's cooling off here, and man, it's about time.  We don't handle heat well, it interferes with sleeping and pretty much everything else.  We reverted to our New Mexico roots and parked in whatever shade we could find, even if it was the other end of the parking lot. 

Some skills never leave you, and it's good that they don't.  Zeroing in on shaded parking is one of 'em.

And we needed it today because it was muggy and hot, and we had to go to the mall. 

I know.  I hate going to the mall, you all know this. But there you go, we went.

See, I need a new purse.  I have a designer one (yeah, who knew, me with a designer bag), and I adore it but it is completely full.  I have everything in a special place and there's not a centimeter left.  In fact, the sides bulge.

But with the new pre-diabetic issue, Lillian insisted that I pick up a testing kit.  I don't have a prescription for strips, but bless her, she doesn't test as often as she's been told to, so I'm getting the extra ones.  Not many, she's not really naughty about not testing, but enough so that I can keep tabs on how I'm reacting to food, so I'll know what to do, and more importantly, what not to do.

And it's a cute little kit, with a lovely lavender reader, but it won't fit in my purse.  Oh sure, it'll fit in my backpack just fine, but I don't lug my backpack everywhere.  Hell, sometimes I just take my mini ID folder out of my wallet and just carry that instead of the whole purse.

I had it suggested that I just transfer everything to the backpack and simply use that, and I could, it's a good suggestion, but I like having my wallet, phone, keys, things like that right at hand rather than having to unsling the backpack and rootle around in it.  I like the various compartments my purse has.

It just needs to be two inches taller. 

So we went to the mall, where we were massively unsuccessful, at least as far as purses go.

Oh sure, I found one that would make do until I found the right one, but no way was I paying $80 for a nylon rip-stop thing that I didn't even particularly want.  I'm insane when it comes to purses, but I'm not a complete lunatic.

And we ran into our usual mall problem.  Well, okay, going to the mall is never a fun thing to do, because y'know, it's the mall.  But we went to Sears, and we've discovered (as I believe I've mentioned before in an earlier post but I'm not going looking through the archives for it now) that there's some funky mojo in the clothing section.  No idea what, but after a short while there, we both get cold sweats and headachy and nauseous.

We're fine in the appliances and tools and guy stuff, but in womens' apparel and accessories?  Bad bad things happen to us.  Both of us, although it tends to hit Lillian worse.  We couldn't get out of there fast enough, and after that it took a couple of hours resting before we were up to going out again, which we had to do for grocery shopping.

So we've been scouring online, and we've found a couple of things, but I'm not happy with online shopping in general. I'm a tactile person, I want to touch it, examine it closely.  I don't want to rely on what someone else says.  Sure it looks good in the picture, but I'm cynical enough not to trust online photography.

Anyway, that's where that is.

What else?

Dammit, the Fourth is over!  Stop it with the fireworks already!  Like they listen to me.

I suspect I'm going to be the mean and batty old lady who's shouting at the neighborhood kids.  Teach them to throw things in MY yard!  Hooligans.

I'm sure there's more to yap about, but I'm going to say good-bye to y'all and go watch the news. 

Oh look.  The I-90 bridge is mostly closed.  Won't THAT make tomorrow's commute fun?

Enjoy your post-holiday Monday!  The folks having to cross that bridge certainly won't, I'm afraid.

Fourth of July eve

And you should be hanging out with friends and family, not lurking around here!

I have three whole days off, and I debated not posting tonight to celebrate, but then I'd feel like a slacker.  So instead, I'm cheating and taking a meme from Facebook.  My answers won't be nearly as clever as Melynda's but they'll do. 

I'd love to hear your answers, either in the comments, on your own blog or Facebook page, or in an email.  If you want to, that is.

And don't you love the fact that even if you never type out your answers, you find yourself answering in your head as you read things like this?

Anyway, I hope you have a happy Fourth of July.  And remember what Sgt. Esterhaus used to say -- "Let's be careful out there!"

37 ODD Things about you!

1. Do you like Blue Cheese dressing? LOVE IT!  Especially on steak with grilled onions on the side!

2. Have you ever smoked cigarettes? Once.  Kinda.  Briefly.  It's astonishing how much you can puke afterwards, though.

3. Do you own a gun? Not now, but when the zombies attack?  Probably!

4. What flavor of Kool-Aid was your favorite? Red.  Cherry is what it was supposed to be, but "red" is really the only right answer.

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? Once in a while, but not nearly like dentists!  Drugs, I need BIG drugs for those!

6. What do you think of hot dogs? I try not to, but once in a while, man I just gotta have one, grilled over hardwood coals, on a toasted bun with mustard and pickle relish.  Well, at least I used to. . .

7. Favorite Christmas movies? Scrooged, the musical version of A Christmas Carol with Albert Finney, and White Christmas, which I love with mad abandon.

8 What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Tea, black leaf, with Truvia and cream in the winter.

9. Can you do push ups? Only with a crane.

10. What's your favorite piece of jewelry? My wedding ring, followed closely by my engagement ring, since it was Lillian's mom's ring.

11. Favorite hobby? Surfing the net. Or reading. Hard to say.

12. Do you have A.D.D.? Nope.

13. Do you wear glasses/contacts? I started wearing contacts at 16, and I've started wearing glasses again since I've been with Lillian, although once in a while I contemplate going back to contacts.  But. . .naw.

14. Middle name? Yep.  My mom had four siblings and each of the five chose one daughter and gave her a derivative of their mom's name, so there are five of us in my clan who have "Ellen" as their middle name.  I'm proud of it.

15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment. I wonder how this new med will affect me. Stay home or go out tomorrow? Dammit, my glass is empty!

16. Name 2 or 3 drinks you regularly drink? Tea, water, used to be Mountain Dew, now it'll have to be diet something-or-the-other.

17. Current worry? Personally, that I won't get this pre-diabetes thing under control. Professionally, that idiots downtown will inadvertently set fire to the shop.  Nationally, that we won't get civil rights. 

18. Current hate right now? I don't actually hate anyone, but I'm seriously disgusted with the lack of backbone evinced by the Democratic party right now.

19. Favorite place to be? Wandering around London or eating great Mexican food in New Mexico.  I'm nothing if not diverse.

20. How did you bring in the New Year? Cuddled up next to my wife.

21. Where would you like to go? Down Under, the British isles, Iceland, back to New Mexico to live.

22. Name three people who will complete this. Well, no one because it's a meme on my blog.  Duh!

23. Do you own slippers? I have two favorite pair, both fur lined.  One's very girlie and one is leather.

24. What color shirt are you wearing? Lavender.

25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? No. I like -- indeed must have -- seriously soft cotton sheets. Plain and comfy.

26. Can you whistle? Yeah, but not well.  I'd really love to learn how to make that ear-splitting whistle that takes two fingers, though.

27. Where are you now? Lounging about in our new double recliner.

28. Would you be a pirate? Probably not.  Somehow pirates never really appealed to me.  Maybe I was one in another life, so I've got the "been there, done that" mentality.

29. What songs do you sing in the shower? Whatever's in my head.  Lately it's been the Indigo Girls "Become You" or Jimmy Buffett's "Banana Republic".  No idea why.

30. Favorite Girl's Name? It depends on my mood, but something different like Raven or Skye.

31. Favorite boy's name?  Again, depends on my mood, but Jamie or Michael are up there.

32. What's in your pocket right now? Deposit slips that need to be destroyed.  Thank you for reminding me.

33. Last thing that made you laugh? Something Lillian said.  She can always make me smile.

34. What vehicle do you drive? Saturn.  I forget the model.  I'm not good with things like that.  But it's a black sedan of some sort.

35. Worst injury you've ever had? Broken elbow, which I broke stepping into a pothole the size of a Buick.  No excuse, I saw it and stepped into it anyway.  Either that or the folded plaica under my patella, which was a true pain for a while.

36. Do you love where you live? Not really.  I like the house, hate the neighborhood and seriously, deeply, desperately am ready to move into the country.  Especially with all the little shits in the neighborhood setting off illegal and very loud fireworks!

37. How many TVs do you have in your house? Two.  No three.  But one of them isn't plugged in, we just have it as back-up.  Or for movie watching if we ever get another DVD player for it.

****************************************************************************************************

Okay, that's the 37 things.  Granted, I should get rid of #22 since it doesn't apply.  But if I did, what question should go in its place?  Suggestions?

Once again, have a happy Fourth of July!

The question and an observation

I forgot to go back and look at what I was gonna talk about yesterday before I got sidetracked, but I know one of the things was to ask y'all a question, even though you won't answer (although I really wish you would).

It's whether or not you'd want a Kindle/electronic reader.  If not, why not.  If so, why so.  I have my thoughts on them, and I'm tossing around some ideas, but input from youse guys who are not my normal go-to people about book questions would be great.

Which is not to dissuade those of you who are my book buds from jumping in with your two cents!  Jump away!

Anyway, that was my question for yesterday, that I lost amongst all the Ref. 71 hoopla.

Moving on to the topic of the day, such as it is.

So I'm trying to eat better and rest more, and I did take one of the pills my doc gave me to help me sleep.  Of course we're trying to overcome decades of not sleeping so it's an uphill battle, but I'm not entirely sure how I feel about these.

They're not traditional sleep aids, which can make you dependent on them.  In fact, what she recommended was an antidepressant that has a side effect of sleepiness.  Kinda like taking antihistamines to make you drowsy, which I would do if they make me sleepy, but they don't.

It's so strange, but I've developed a kind of tolerance to antihistamines.  One stops my itchy, non-breathing issues just fine but I don't get drowsy.  If I take two, then I'm hyper and wide awake. And generally irritable.

I wish I could say I love my metabolism, but right now I don't.

So anyway, I took one of the antidepressants (I'm allowed 2 at a shot), and it took a while to kick in, and then it did, but didn't keep me down all night; I woke up a couple of times.

That was okay, but what bugged me was the feeling of being somewhat bummed and depressed through the morning, wanting to just get away from everything for a while.

I can't tell if that's a response to the sleep stuff, which can happen with antidepressants, although it's never happened to me before when I've taken them, but there's always a first time and this is something I've never taken before.

Or maybe it's a reaction to the news of having to change everything so very drastically.  I know, I know, baby steps, but there's a lot of pressure to do everything right from the beginning.  Most of the pressure's what I put on myself, but Lillian's keeping an eye on me as are all the folks at the shop, and I do sort of feel like I'm being monitored.

And I should be, because I don't entirely know what I'm doing.  I've seen what Lillian's going through, and I've mirrored some of the changes with her, but to lop out a huge chunk of what I've always done is unsettling.

In fact, I was kinda sadly daydreaming on the bus about just getting away for the weekend since I have Saturday off -- three days off, yay! -- and just, I dunno, riding the bus all day, or finding a beach to wander around, or going up into the mountains and just sitting for a while.  Or even driving somewhere, like to Bremerton or out to the ocean, just to get away from the constant air of what-I-can't-do-anymore.

Which is silly because the change is in me, not here in the house or at the shop.  It's not external. And I realize that, I truly do, but that doesn't change my impulse to run away.

I figure that's kinda natural. Right now I feel trapped, and I don't handle trapped well.  But that impulse coupled with the vague feeling of depression made for an uncomfortable morning.

Of course I'll adapt and all will be well.  This is still very new to me, and it's going to take some time to settle into it, so deep emotional reactions are to be expected.  But I don't like feeling cornered AND depressed.  The combo's not a happy one.

I know, duh.  Still, it needed to be said.

I wonder if I'll start regarding all food as "the enemy".  It's the sort of thing my psyche might do.  We shall see.

Anyway, that's where I'm at right now. 

So, do you have tomorrow off?  If so, what are you going to do?  I don't, but I do have Saturday off, so that added to my ususal Sunday and Monday makes for a lovely long weekend.  And since I generally don't get those, Monday being my usual day off and the day when most holidays are traditionally celebrated, this feels like an extra-special treat.

We're not doing much, just stuff around the house, but it'll be nice to be able to sleep in and read whenever the  mood hits, at least for a short while.  And it's supposed to be warm and sunny, so I may spend time out with the flower beds and planter, both of which need serious work.

Anyway, have a grand Friday, and if I don't talk to you until afterward, have a brilliant (and SAFE!) Fourth of July!

The Devil went down to. . .Washington

So I was all set to rant about selfish customers who don't believe people who work retail are really people, and I had a question for you guys (which you won't answer, you never answer, but I have a dream and one day most of you will!), but then.

Then I ran across this little news item and it both boggles and bothers me, so of course I have to share.  What are friends for?

Background for those of you just joining us.

Here in Washington State, we have a domestic partnership law, and over the last couple of years, we've gotten more and more rights.  This year, the legislature enacted the "everything but marriage" law which says we have all the same rights as our heterosexual married counterparts, we just can't CALL it marriage.

It goes into effect this month.

Let's face it, there are quite a few people out there who really want us to have equal rights, they're just wildly possessive about those three words -- "marriage", "husband" and "wife".  They don't want to share.  They see it as a slide into debauchery, conveniently overlooking the phrase "consenting adult" which immediately bars pedophiles and those into bestiality from getting married.

Okay, so we have the rights, not the name, and for the most part, that's just dandy.  It's really the rights most of us are after.  Well, and for people in power to recognize that we do HAVE those rights, but that's another story.

Granted, there are people who are saying the next step for the GLBT community is to actually CALL it marriage, and they're right, it will happen, if only because people under 30 for the most part think it's a non-issue and they wish everyone would concentrate on what matters.  So, yeah, it's gonna happen.

But these folks want to rescind the rights we have simply because they believe that it will lead to marriage.  For us to be equal in all but name puts us too close to them for comfort.

Kinda like penalizing us for what we might do.  Like taking away your keys 'cause you *might* drive drunk.  Or barring you from buying a swimming suit if you're over 30, 'cause you *might* wear it in public.  It's all about protecting society from our potential impulses.

So Larry Stickney spearheaded Referendum 71 to have our rights repealed (although he hasn't donated to his own cause; isn't that strange somehow?) and he has until July 25th to get the signatures to put everything on hold.

Oh, and by the way, if you'd like to sign the Decline To Sign petition, please do so.  It'd be great if we had twice as many people decining to sign as Larry has actually signing.

Okay, but this is just background.

Today one of Larry's supporters, Ron Boehme, has "exposed the truth" about folks who defend civil liberties.  You might want to be fully informed before you sign that petition, folks!

Here's the truth he's expounding (and this is a quote directly from the article) - "Thus conservatives share a Christian view of reality. Liberals share an atheist view of life. That's not an opinion - it's just a fact."

Oh yes, if you're a liberal, you're an athiest.  All liberals are athiests!  Come on, 'fess up!  No, you can't be religious or spiritual.  You're a liberal!  Only conservatives can be Christian. Remember that!

But it gets better.

See, apparently if you're not conservative enough or wealthy enough, you've got to be working for Satan.  Here's what he says:

"Satan wants to destroy people (John 10:10), and the easiest way to do this is to blind them to right and wrong. That’s why he’s for free sex, fornication, pornography, homosexuality, killing babies, altering marriage–and anything else that cripples the human spirit and separates them from a holy God.  He also desires to bring them to poverty of life and health through government controls of commerce and industry. Satan wants people immoral and poor."

So if you're poor, you're Satanic?  Really?

And of course gays are obviously at the forefront of abortion.  We so casually get pregnant, doncha know.  Happens all the time.

Well, and Boehme wants to fewer business regulations but he's opposed to "free sex"?  So he wants to license and tax it, then?  Isn't that, um, prostitution?  Which is immoral?

Now understand, this is the same guy who said that preventing gay marriage was more important in the 21st century than opposing abortion, which he called the world's greated holocaust.

And us getting married is worse than a holocaust?  Any holocaust?  Seriously?

Apparently it's right up there with government regulated health care. 

Does anyone but me hear Flip Wilson hollering, "The Devil made me do it!"?

Oh wait, that was a man dressed up as a woman.  That CAN'T be moral! 

I'm making fun of him because, well, I have to, but the fact is he's serious.  And he has folks who agree with him.  I don't doubt the depth of his conviction, and in a way it's kinda admirable.

But this guy and his cohorts actually think Lillian and I are demon-possessed, and that's his basis for refusing us civil rights.

That scares me.  Because people who think this way encourage a mob mentality, and violence towards gays in Christ's name is more common than you think.  And if - WHEN - Referendum 71 gets shut down, won't that be the proof they need?  What will their reaction be?  It's a little disturbing.

It doesn't change anything, actually.  I'm still going to say I'm married because I am, at least in a few States in the nation, and I'm not going to submit to an exorcism to chase the demons out of me, and I'm still gonna advocate for complete civil equality.

And I'm still going to call the wingnuts on their wingnuttery.  Because you can't just ignore stuff like this.  It's like an poisonous mold.  It'll spread until it infects everything. 

Nope.  Can't have it.  And I'm going to shine lights on it until it shrivels, and I'm going to laugh at their silliness, because, well. . .they keep giving me stuff to laugh at!

Like dear Rush, and his pro-hypocrisy stance, which is a whole 'nother story, but dudes!  Seriously.

"Next, Rush had "one more thing" to say about the Sanford affair. He explained that people were telling him that the Republican Party needs to get rid of social issues because it is seen as hypocrisy in situations like this. But Rush rejected this idea. Instead, Rush argued that "society needs hypocrisy." This actually went on for a few minutes, with Rush essentially making the case that hypocrisy helps preserve morality more effectively that "moral equivalency" does, which is what liberals try to impose on society."

You can't make that shit up.

Sorry, my darlings dear

This is very short.

Two and a half hours' of interrupted sleep have made me woolly-thoughted and mentally spastic.  Even more spastic. 

Update, though.

Technically, I am "pre-diabetic" which means basically "clean up your act, eat right, exercise, lose weight, sleep, and cut out stress or else you're gonna really regret it, signed My Body" so that's what I'm gonna have to do. 

Okay.  It won't be easy and I'll screw up but the game plan is there and I have some decent chemistry to help out along the way, including something non-addictive to help me freakin' sleep.  Which is a huge source of my problems.

Add to that the fact that my thyroid, which has been dicey and failing has taken a cannonball into nowhereland, and so that set of meds has to be upped.

No biggie, actually.  It's the same routine I've been on, just a bigger dosage.  And I knew it was going to happen, so it's just another step in the journey.

But for now, as soon as my iPod finishes snyching, I'm off to bed.  I won't have my sleep meds until tomorrow, but I kinda think that they're not going to be necessary tonight.

If I turn into one of those reverse sleepy dolls and have my eyes pop open the minute I lay down, Bad Things are going to happen.

You've been warned.

See ya tomorrow!

The news I'll get tomorrow

Tomorrow I go see the good doctor, and I suspect that the news she's got for me is that I'm diabetic.

Well, if things like this come in threes, then that makes sense.  Lillian, Dina and now me. 

I also suspect she's going to tell me that it's Type 2, and that I'm going to have to take meds, change my diet and exercise a lot more.  That's pretty much the way these things shake down, isn't it?  My last blood sugar test was slightly elevated so I'm reasonably certain it's not Type 1.

And I've lived with Lillian's diabetes and I've seen how it affects her, what she can and can't eat, what she has to do to maintain her levels, so none of this is going to be new and unfamiliar to me.

Still.

It's going to be a blow when she says it.  I'm not sure why, and the gods know I'm braced for it, but still. . .

When I got the call to come in and discuss my lab results, that was really all I needed to know.  The rest is just formalities and paperwork.  And a prescription for testing strips, and the meds to begin help regulating everything.

So why am I so surprised? 

When I got the call to schedule the appointment, I was dazed for a bit.  I'm not entirely sure why, and I bet I'll be the same way tomorrow.

I know I'm not 25 any more, and in fact I'm not sure I'd like to be that young again anyway, although in general my body was in better shape then, but then that's true for all of us, eh? 

And I know I can't do the things I used to do, eat the foods I used to eat.  Well hell, with my dental history, of course I can't eat what I used to. 

So I've been thinking, now that I'll have to give up breads and potatoes -- well, all starches, really -- if I could choose between the two, which would I choose?  It varies from moment to moment.  A freshly toasted bagel or a fully loaded baked potato?  Could go either way.

But it won't matter since they're both off the "can do" list. 

In the grand scheme of things, this is so much less awful than so many other medical issues, and I know I shouldn't whine.  And I'm not.  Not really.  I'm kind of resigned, I guess.

I don't have to like it, and it's going to be a nuisance to live with, but the key to remember is going to be to live, isn't it?

Sending you hither and yon

Okay, first of all, I've been asked to be a guest blogger over at Naked Authors, and if the link is live (which it is!!), the post is up.  I'm beyond tickled and flattered that they'd ask me to blog, and they've even already asked for a repeat! 

I promise, it's not going to my head.  Especially since I haven't finished the second blog yet, but I'm working on it.

And Sunday was the 40th Anniversary of Stonewall.  If you want a nice little comprehensive and well-written low-down on what happened then, Andi Marquette has written a spiffy blog about it.  But it really is amazing how far we've come.  Much yet to do, but huge steps have been taken.

Since I'm sending you round about to other people's blogs (are you noticing I'm not coming up with a topic of my own?  Yeah, I figured you might), you should go check out this wonderfully funny one by Toni McGee Causey.  I laughed loud enough to wake folks. It's the one entitled "Dear Summer".

We had a great, beautiful, boring weekend.  We had lunch with Robin, we did laundry and grocery shopping, Lillian worked in the woodshop.  It was such a fabulously uneventful weekend that, while I wish I felt badly about sending you to other folk's blogs, sadly I don't.

Have a great Monday!

Nice music and nightmares

We're currently downloading the music written by Carlos Ruiz Zafon for his latest book, The Angel's Game, and it's not really a fitting background for my topic, but it'll be interesting to see if it has an influence.

Carlos' music is beautiful, haunting, almost magical.  It's instrumental work we can listen to over and over again, soothing and engaging without putting us to sleep.

And I want to talk about nightmares.  So it's a bit odd, but kinda fun. 

Okay, here goes.  This is what I was going to talk about yesterday, but then other events came up.  Well, you know.

But night before last. . .well, yesterday morning, truth to tell. . .I woke up with a start, panting in fear.

I was in some sort of general store, not an old-fashioned general store with wooden floors and pickle barrels, but a store like the big box everything stores, Target or Wally World or something like that.  It wasn't overly crowded, which was nice, and I was wandering around looking at things, when something hit me.

All the celebrity endorsements were the same person, the same image in one pose or another was on each and every item.  From swimsuits to toothbrushes to lunch boxes to juice containers, from underwear to jewelry to greeting cards to furniture, everything had the same celebrity.

Perez Hilton.

See what I mean?  Nightmare. 

Do you have nightmares?  I haven't had them recently, but somehow Perez sneaked in under my defenses.

My most recurring one has me lying in my bed, paralyzed, watching a spider descend from the ceiling, swirling slowly toward my face.  I discovered early on that I can levitate.  I don't ever remember jumping out of bed and running to the light switch, I simply wake up at the light switch in a panic, staring at the bed in terror.

I've changed more sheets that way.  Because, you know, what if it wasn't a nightmare, but real?  And could I take a chance?

Hell no.  Change the sheets.

I've had the falling one, but not in a long time.  In that one, I tend to be driving and can't make a really high overpass turn and go off the side.  The one time I actually hit the ground, though, I just fell off a sandstone cliff. 

Hmmm, you know, thinking about it, ever since I hit the ground, I haven't had any falling ones.  Maybe that's the solution.  Go ahead and hit, and then the fear's laid to rest. 

I am NOT trying that with the spider one, though.  They do not get to land on my face.  Nope.

Hell, folks, I had that nightmare after seeing the movie version of Charlotte's Web.  If Charlotte can give me nightmares, I'm pretty much a die-hard anrachnophobe.

Although, strangely enough, the movie Arachnophobia didn't scare me.  I think it was Harley Jane Kozak's calm that got me through.  But then I like Harley.  She's cool.

Okay, I can't concentrate on nightmares any more.  Carlos has calmed me down and they all seem fairly removed and kind of silly. 

If you're interested in the website where you can also download his music for free -- he told me about it so I know it's cool, it's not stealing it -- just let me know. 

But do you guys suffer from nightmares? 

Cultural Icons

I was talking about the day's losses, well okay, the week's losses, with Lillian, and it occurred to me that I'm getting older.  Darn it.

Ty was born in the early 80's, Ryan in the late 80's.  They'll never understand why I'm feeling a little bereft tonight. 

Oh sure, there are DVDs and re-runs and whatnot, but they seem kinda silly now, things to look back on and smile indulgently.  I am absolutely positive I'd've been the same way with my folks' viewing history if we'd had the same sort of technological access.

But that doesn't change the fact that I'm feeling a little out of sorts.

The kids will most likely remember Ed McMahon as the guy with the balloons who was the spokesman for Publisher's Clearinghouse.

But they won't get the memories brought on by that picture. They'll understand the reference -- "Heeeerrrreeee's Johnny!" -- when they watch The Shining, but it won't have the same impact, that twisty sense that something we remember as excited anticipation has been brutally changed into something horrific.  For them, it's a schtick.

And they won't get the sadness that something beautiful, someone unique, has truly passed.

All they'll see is the teeth and ohmygod the HAIR, can you believe they wore it like that?!  They won't quite understand that incredible visceral effect Farrah had on adolescent boys (and girls), and how she began a whole fashion revolution.

Or that she had the audacity to hyphenate her name when she got married, rather than letting her identity be subsumed by Lee's.  Nowadays that's no big deal, but back then?  It was almost scandalous, and certainly a step forward for women's identity.

  

No, they'll see the pictures of the Angels, but they won't get the same grin we got.  Their Angels are Drew and Lucy and Cameron. 

And that's not a bad thing, necessarily.  These are their memories, their icons.

But we had them first.

Then of course there's Michael.  And yeah, in his later years, he became something, well, basically unnatural and very, very strange. 

But he didn't start off that way, and perhaps I'm being a bit nostalgic, but I do have some fabulous memories of the Jackson 5.  Okay, so the song "Ben" was a little creepy, but only if you took it in context.  Go down the street, ask each and every person under 25 A) if they've heard the song "Ben" by Michael Jackson, and B) if they know who Ben was, and I'm willing to bet 99.9% won't have a clue.

A love song about a RAT?  Please.

Michael did some amazing things, and while I personally believe he peaked with Thriller, others will disagree.  And despite all the strange things he did, he also did a lot of good.

So we've lost three in less than a week, and they say death comes in threes, especially with the famous sorts, but it doesn't make it easier.

These are people who affected us, for good or bad, and their passing in some ways diminishes us.  In any event, they had an impact on our lives, and when all is said and done, that's no small thing.

Walk among bright stars, you three who shone so brightly here.  You will be remembered, and you will be missed.

Calling things into being

Do you sometimes think you can call things into being?

I don't mean unicorns or flying monkeys, although that'd be kinda cool.  No, just ordinary stuff.

See, yesterday I said we'd focus on the good stuff, and we'd leave the bad stuff for today.  Which kind of implied that I'd concentrate on bad stuff, thereby bringing me bad stuff to concentrate on.

That was not my intention.

However, at 7:30 this morning, I definitely believed that I had called bad into force, because the phone rang and it was the dentist's office, rescheduling my appointment.  So from a 5:15 appointment, I got bumped up to 8:30.  I was not mentally prepared for that.

But okay, there you go, it was what it was.  So I did all the things I needed to do before I left -- roast in the crock pot, shower, teeth brushed -- and showed up at 8:30, where they maintained we owed an extra $30 from Lillian's oral surgery visit.

Bad things, y'know?  Here they are.

And after I was checked in and paid them off, bloody extortionists, I sat. 

Okay, I had my book and that was good, but still.  They hauled me in 8 hours early, and then they had me sit. 

At 9:00 I called JB to tell him it was pretty obvious I was gonna be late to work.  He was understanding, of course, but I shouldn't have had to make the call, and I made sure the receptionist (who was the one who rescheduled me, I could tell by  her voice and lack of understanding) knew it.

But finally they hauled me in, X-rayed the tooth in question, and shuffled me off to the chair.  At least the view out the window was reasonably pleasant, trees and all, although I have to wonder if the the folks in the offices across the parking lot have nightmares about dental procedures.  Or do they even look out their windows at us victims. . .er. . .patients?

And then, then things turned around.

No big ol' needles, no terrifyingly shrill drills, just a little sealer on the area of my tooth that was questionable. 

That's it.

And I was out of there.  I dropped off my prescription from yesterday and headed on to work, only half an hour late. And without being spongy!  Cool!

Of course then I had to find parking downtown, and that's always a challenge, but that's an everyday thing.

And from there on, the day just trundled along being itself.

Oh yeah, I chortled about Sanford, but I laughed more when I heard that Fox News identified him as a Democrat.  But apparently they do that, with Republicans who do things they don't like.

But all in all, if I called anything into existence it was just ordinariness, and that's not a bad thing. 

Although the day did threaten to end the way it began because Lillian's bus into the city was late, by about an hour.  That was nuisancy and enough to make me grembly, but it was quickly passed (athough it didn't seem quick while we were in it), and now all is well.

So, what shall we call into being tomorrow?