The question and an observation

I forgot to go back and look at what I was gonna talk about yesterday before I got sidetracked, but I know one of the things was to ask y'all a question, even though you won't answer (although I really wish you would).

It's whether or not you'd want a Kindle/electronic reader.  If not, why not.  If so, why so.  I have my thoughts on them, and I'm tossing around some ideas, but input from youse guys who are not my normal go-to people about book questions would be great.

Which is not to dissuade those of you who are my book buds from jumping in with your two cents!  Jump away!

Anyway, that was my question for yesterday, that I lost amongst all the Ref. 71 hoopla.

Moving on to the topic of the day, such as it is.

So I'm trying to eat better and rest more, and I did take one of the pills my doc gave me to help me sleep.  Of course we're trying to overcome decades of not sleeping so it's an uphill battle, but I'm not entirely sure how I feel about these.

They're not traditional sleep aids, which can make you dependent on them.  In fact, what she recommended was an antidepressant that has a side effect of sleepiness.  Kinda like taking antihistamines to make you drowsy, which I would do if they make me sleepy, but they don't.

It's so strange, but I've developed a kind of tolerance to antihistamines.  One stops my itchy, non-breathing issues just fine but I don't get drowsy.  If I take two, then I'm hyper and wide awake. And generally irritable.

I wish I could say I love my metabolism, but right now I don't.

So anyway, I took one of the antidepressants (I'm allowed 2 at a shot), and it took a while to kick in, and then it did, but didn't keep me down all night; I woke up a couple of times.

That was okay, but what bugged me was the feeling of being somewhat bummed and depressed through the morning, wanting to just get away from everything for a while.

I can't tell if that's a response to the sleep stuff, which can happen with antidepressants, although it's never happened to me before when I've taken them, but there's always a first time and this is something I've never taken before.

Or maybe it's a reaction to the news of having to change everything so very drastically.  I know, I know, baby steps, but there's a lot of pressure to do everything right from the beginning.  Most of the pressure's what I put on myself, but Lillian's keeping an eye on me as are all the folks at the shop, and I do sort of feel like I'm being monitored.

And I should be, because I don't entirely know what I'm doing.  I've seen what Lillian's going through, and I've mirrored some of the changes with her, but to lop out a huge chunk of what I've always done is unsettling.

In fact, I was kinda sadly daydreaming on the bus about just getting away for the weekend since I have Saturday off -- three days off, yay! -- and just, I dunno, riding the bus all day, or finding a beach to wander around, or going up into the mountains and just sitting for a while.  Or even driving somewhere, like to Bremerton or out to the ocean, just to get away from the constant air of what-I-can't-do-anymore.

Which is silly because the change is in me, not here in the house or at the shop.  It's not external. And I realize that, I truly do, but that doesn't change my impulse to run away.

I figure that's kinda natural. Right now I feel trapped, and I don't handle trapped well.  But that impulse coupled with the vague feeling of depression made for an uncomfortable morning.

Of course I'll adapt and all will be well.  This is still very new to me, and it's going to take some time to settle into it, so deep emotional reactions are to be expected.  But I don't like feeling cornered AND depressed.  The combo's not a happy one.

I know, duh.  Still, it needed to be said.

I wonder if I'll start regarding all food as "the enemy".  It's the sort of thing my psyche might do.  We shall see.

Anyway, that's where I'm at right now. 

So, do you have tomorrow off?  If so, what are you going to do?  I don't, but I do have Saturday off, so that added to my ususal Sunday and Monday makes for a lovely long weekend.  And since I generally don't get those, Monday being my usual day off and the day when most holidays are traditionally celebrated, this feels like an extra-special treat.

We're not doing much, just stuff around the house, but it'll be nice to be able to sleep in and read whenever the  mood hits, at least for a short while.  And it's supposed to be warm and sunny, so I may spend time out with the flower beds and planter, both of which need serious work.

Anyway, have a grand Friday, and if I don't talk to you until afterward, have a brilliant (and SAFE!) Fourth of July!

Comments

[Bob Petciolas]

As to the Kindle - not really. First, it's waaaay to expensive. Second, you drop a book, pick it up and continue from where you left off. Sit on a book and just pick it up. Go to a used bookstore (Coas comes to mind) and trade a book you've read for one you haven't, very little money changes hands. Run the battery down and you are out of luck. You can read a book in very little light or with a flash light. Or a fire light. And, color. Even my local newspaper has color now.

When the price comes down, full color, and rugged, then I might be interested. Maybe with OLED screen (roll it up and put it in a pocket; read in the dark) it might interest me.

[Fran]

Bob! Thank you! See, that's just the kind of thing I was looking for.

[Dina]

I'm torn about a Kindle. Bob makes some very good points, actually, and I went, Oh, yeah... Still here's my take on it. I use my computer a LOT, but I don't really want to spend all day reading on the monitor. While Kindle handles some of the portability issues, it just doesn't have the same visceral feel as an actual book. On the other hand... I would like to be able to change font sizes. I LOVE the idea of having a HUGE library in an itty bitty space. I like audio books, and I think Kindle does (or will by the time I can afford it) have that capability. So. I want to want it. I really do. I want to be able to afford it, though, first. Then, I hope I don't ignore it like I tend to do with my I-pod.

[Dev]

Not interested in the Kindle. I had a palm you could download books to (for free even), and really I prefer the actual book. You can't drop a book have the batteries pop out and end up loosing all your information. (I have had that happen with the palm.... not fun). In the end, the palm died. I have an Itouch and it had one or two audio books on it, but still I would rather have the real thing.