Fran's Ramblings

Perspective, part 2

Where were you last night at or about 12:30 in the morning? 

Yeah?

Can you prove it? 

Hmmm. . .

We know where we were.  Lillian and I were sitting here on the studio sofa while Ryan gave his statement to the police officer outside.  That's where WE were.

Here's what happened.

Ryan was walking home from work last night at about midnight.  A group of guys were going by on the other side of the street.  This particular street is one of the main thoroughfares for this part of town, four lanes and a median, fairly well lit, fairly well traveled.

The group saw Ryan, crossed the street behind him (by the police station, may I just add.  When you're ballsy, you're ballsy!) and followed him for a bit.  Ryan, being the smart kid he is, realized things were wrong and removed his earbuds and tucked away his iPod. 

Before he could do more than that, though, he was clocked in the back of the head and knocked down.  The rest seems to be a bit of a blur for him, but he got up and was punched in the face repeatedly, while they kept insisting he hand over his wallet.

However, Ryan has had some experience dealing with assholes because he's managed a late-night burger joint, and he and Ty have had some sessions on "what to do in dicey situations".  So Ryan got his bearings and moved out into the middle of the road, to the median.

They followed him, but as I say, the road's fairly busy, and with oncoming traffic, they decided to take off.  Ryan made it to our corner, got out of their sight and belted home, where he called the cops, who showed up about five minutes later.

Okay sure, nothing's going to happen, we all know this.  Ryan only saw one guy clearly, and even then, in a few days it'll fade so much he won't be able to identify anyone.  But he chose to file the complaint, so that it's on record if these guys try something with someone else.

The only thing we all think he might've done differently is call 911 from the median rather than waiting to get home, but all in all, I was pleased to have him here instead, so it's a minor quibble as far as I'm concerned, and I know Lillian agrees. 

So he's fine.  A little shaken up and stiff and sore.  He had a nasty headache yesterday, but part of that was the adrenaline dump wearing off.  We kept an eye on him for concussion, but he's fine.

And we're incredibly proud of him.  He reacted quickly and well, he came up with a defensive plan that worked, since 5 (or maybe 6 or 7, he's not entirely sure) to 1 odds are never a good idea. 

But more importantly, he didn't let his testosterone get the best of him.  He didn't deliberately escalate it to the point where they had to really thump on him, do some serious damage.  He was obviously unafraid of them, which I think disturbed them, and he was obviously thinking, which they weren't prepared for.

And by not attacking them, he retained control and power. 

I'm not sure he sees that, though.  He's afraid the folks where he works are going to give him shit because he didn't fight harder, didn't actually take a beating.  They're idiots, of course, but it's all about perception, and I don't think he understands that by not being confrontational, he was presenting a more dangerous and capable face to his attackers.

They didn't want to be seen, that's true, but they also didn't know quite what to do with someone who didn't react the way they expected.

When he gets older, he'll see the value of how he handled it, but for now, he's a little off-balance.

But then, so am I.  When I drove to the store today, I was watching for groups of guys dressed as he described them.  Obviously I didn't see them, and I wouldn't recognize them even if I did, but it's made me edgy.  I don't like that.

So we're more defensive now, more cautious. 

But man, we're proud of the kid!

Ah hell no.

We've been watching movies, and talking about various movie-related things, and I've gotten to the grumbly "ah, hell no" stage.

Brought about partly because we're watching I, Robot now, and that's Will's trademark phrase.  And because I find myself saying that a lot during this film, simply because I love the book, all the Asimov robot books actually, and this has nothing to do with them. 

Well, aside from the title, the three laws of robotics, and the fact that there are robots in it.  And a few names.

For example, one of my favorite characters is Dr. Calvin.  But she wasn't a thin, sexy, stiletto-wearing fashionista, like the one here.  And the whole point of the books was that robots aren't the enemy, unlike the movie, where they're still scary things.

Okay, I understand that part of the point is to show us Spooner overcoming his fear of robots, but this particular movie doesn't do that.  Not really.  Because of course Spooner's fears are realized.  Bah.

It's actually a better representation of Daniel Suarez's book Daemon, honestly. (And don't think that I'm unaware of the irony that it's available on Kindle, either!)

That led us to discussing the upcoming movie that will be made of Lee Child's book, One Shot. 

Truth to tell, the casting of that movie takes up a lot more time at work than it probably should.  But we're concerned, and justifiably, Lee being a shop favorite and all.

It was optioned by Tom Cruise, and that too was an "ah, hell, no" moment for me.  I mean, I know he's got the money, and I know he's good at action movies, and I suspect he can produce a quality film, but I have this horrific feeling he sees himself as Reacher.

Hell no.

And it's not just 'cause Tom's short and Reacher's, what, 6'5"?  Hollywood has magic in it, and I know they have no problem making people look taller.  Piece of cake, actually. 

But Reacher has a chest measurement of 50" and has hands like small turkeys or hams.  That's who he is.  To cast someone of a slighter build isn't right.  You need someone Dolph Lundgren size, but with better acting skills.

I understand they're looking at Hugh Jackman for Reacher, and while he's better than Cruise, he's still not physically right.  Granted, he can act, which is something. 

Still.  Ah hell, no.

And, speaking of Jackman, we watched X-Men: The Last Stand, and I found myself saying, "ah hell no" a lot there.

See, I have the original X-Men comic books, from the death of Thunderbird well into the creation of Phoenix, and while I don't have a lot of them past that (although I'd love them!), I did read them. 

So I found myself sighing.  If you haven't seen it yet and you want to, there are spoilers coming, just so's ya know.

Cyclops doesn't die, neither does Xavier or Jean.  There are lots of other anomalies, and I know, I know, artistic license and all, but damn.  It was just annoying as all hell.  I enjoyed the cast, and it was a fun, blow-things-up movie, but it wasn't the X-Men story I grew up with.

I ran into that with the original Dune movie, the 1984 one with Kyle MacLaughlan and Virginia Madsen and Sting and Patrick Stewart. 

I went to see it with a couple of friends.  We ran the gamut of Dune knowledge: Lou had never read it, I'd read it once, Bobby was a serious fan.

Lou loved it, I enjoyed it but had to admit there were things, like the appearance of the Bene Gesserit or the Spice Guild, and I raised an eyebrow at some of the plotting.  But Bobby loathed it.  Had he had Will's phrase then, that's all we'd have heard through the whole movie.  "Ah hell no!" 

So I guess it's just as well he didn't have it.

Am I being too picky?  Probably.  I often say that movies are just promotional trailers for books, and I know more than to believe that any book can really be translated into a good movie, although I think The Princess Bride did a good job. But then William Goldman wrote the screenplay, so who's going to treat his original work with more respect than it's author?

Anyway, that's what I'm fussing about tonight.

But you know what?  It's nice to have small things to gremble about once in a while!

Have a grand Monday, y'all!

I Want My Country Back

I hear that a lot lately.  I read about it.  People are saying it all over the place.

I have no idea what it means.

Okay, that's not entirely true.  Things are changing here in the US and that change is rapid.  Change is uncomfortable.  Change is scary.  So a lot of people are saying "I want my country back."

It's a catchy phrase.  But I don't think the people who are saying it really mean it.  At least I hope they don't.  I think they're cherry-picking memories and nostalgia.

See, I think some people are being wistful about the 50's, fondly remembering Ozzie and Harriet scenarios.  Man went to work, woman stayed home and cleaned (in pearls and high heels, let us never forget!), children were respectful and there was no crime.

But that's a TV show.  The real 50's weren't quite like that.

Jim Crow laws were in effect, there was no such thing as domestic violence (we all just agreed not to notice Betty's black eye again, or "believed" her when she said she walked into a door and young Bobby fell off his bike.  Again.), self-medication with alcohol was standard and even expected, women were discouraged from owning property or having their own separate checking accounts, but they were encouraged -- indeed expected -- to provide all marital services on demand.  Including sex.  There was no such thing as marital rape. 

Frankly, I'm glad we're away from those times, when secrecy was the key to a civilized society. 

And fear played a huge part in our lives.  How many of you remember "duck and cover" drills at school?  As if hiding under that desk was going to save you from a bomb.  And I remember the McCarthy pamphlets, encouraging us to spy on our neighbors, and our families, and to report them if we suspected any "communist" activity. 

So. . .what time period are we looking at for getting our country "back"?

Is it a racial thing?  Is that what's going on?  I mean, if US Representative Lynn Jenkins says what we need now is "a great white hope" to save the country, is that really the country you want back?  Segregation and rioting? 

Hey, can you tell me who "has" the country now?  From whom do these folks want to recover it?

Here in Washington State, lately, it's me.  I'm the one holding the country hostage.  It's all that pushing about gay marriage, see.  We apparently want to change and destroy "traditional" marriage.

But no one can quite tell me how.  I promise, I've asked.

I hear a lot of "marriage is for procreation".  Really?  I see a whole lot of procreation going on, and marriage isn't involved.  And I see a lot of married couples choosing not to procreate.  So. . .no.  That's not it.

And I'm both amused and annoyed by the idea that children "have" to have both a mother and father to be normal, balanced, decent human beings, when all you have to do is look around to see that lots of single parents are raising their kids just fine, and lots of "traditional" families aren't. 

I think what kids need are parents who are loving, supportive, strict as necessary, understanding insofar as is possible, and financially secure enough to support said children, none of which is guaranteed when a heterosexual couple gets married. 

Hell, I wish people had to get a license to have kids.  You've gotta be licensed to drive, and raising kids should be at least as challenging!  It certainly shouldn't be an "Oops!  Well hell.  Guess I'd better buy diapers" situation!

I said yesterday that I'd tell you about the new developments in our Ref 71 situation, and it's gotten just weird.  It's gonna be interesting to see what happens.

First of all, the folks behind Ref 71 said they didn't want their donor list made public, because they'd been getting nasty emails and threats.  Except that when the Public Disclosure Commission asked for proof of these threats, there was nothing to show.  Sure, Stickney & Co. could provide emails showing they'd been insulted, but that's insufficient reason to keep the donor list secret.

So, it's been published. 

Here's the thing about Ref 71.  It's not just about gay rights.  The Domestic Partnership registry here is also open to hetero couples where one partner is age 62 or older, they're shacking up, and they don't want to get married and lose other benefits.

So I have to wonder, do State Representatives Dan Kristiansen, Jim McCune, and Val Stevens' gay and older constituents know that their duly elected representatives have been trying to take away these protections?  Val's contributed more than once, too.  They're not my reps, or I'd be at their offices, demanding an explanation.

And the count continues as the Ref 71 signatures are inspected.  We should know by next week if we get to keep our non-marriage rights and protections.  There are three levels of inspection, and one allows in folks who weren't registered voters when they signed the petitions.

However, another twist in the story is that Washington Families Standing Together has filed a lawsuit, alleging irregularities in signature collection -- some people signed when they thought they were agreeing we should KEEP our rights, and that's been caught on videotape -- and that the folks in the Secretary of State's office are being awfully lenient about whose signature gets in.

So there's going to be a hearing about that on Monday.

And Gary Randall (the Oregonian who's crossed over into our State to help Larry out with this nasty Ref 71 business) has come out blasting about that.  Not that there's been this petition filed. 

No, Gary maintains that the judge hearing the case is biased in our favor because he swears she's gay.  And is therefore a militant activist.  Because, you know, all gay people are. 

These sorts of face-offs are occurring in Maine and Iowa too.  It's insane.

But that's what I'm talking about.  It's this rabid fear of change that has everyone hyped up, and "traditional" marriage seems to be a lightning rod.

The thing is, marriage has changed, and it will have to continue to change.  Interracial marriage used to be taboo.  It used to be acceptable to marry under-age partners, and some not too far from the original family tree, if you get my drift. 

Marriage used to be about property transfers and inheritance.  Now they're about love and commitment, which is the way it should be.  And if the concept of marriage remains rigid, it might very well break.

You want to know something?  More marriages are reporting that they're happier now than ever before.  You know why?  Because the people who are getting married are marrying people they love, and because people who are miserable in their marriages have the freedom to get out of them when they need to.

So, being locked into a loveless, possibly abusive marriage?  Is that part of the country that people want back?  Or is marriage to someone who is cherished and beloved a better idea?  Even if it means change.

Yawn. . .

I slept from a little after 5:15 this morning right up until five minutes before my alarm went off, at 7:10.

I got shaky at work, my thinking is fuzzy, and I got sent home.

But hey, I got the new Dick Francis read, and I'm partway through the upcoming J. D. Robb (which is excellent). 

Now, however, I'm off to bed.  And I need to be.  It took me three tries to type the word "off".

Yeah.

But there are some interesting twists in the Ref. 71 case, and I'll tell you all about them.  Tomorrow.

*yaaawwwwnnnn*

Have a great Friday!  I know I will! 

Patience

When I was growing up, my mantra was "I want patience and I want it NOW!"

It made perfect sense at 12.  Okay, sometimes it still does, irony notwithstanding.  And you can't tell me YOU haven't felt that way more than once! 

Ha.  Knew it!

On Tuesday, Jayne Ann Krentz, writing as Jayne Castle, signed her latest paperback for us, and she made up a promotional packet that people got if they reserved their copies before the 18th.  Remember?  I know I told y'all about it.

Well, our last count was somewhere around 270, give or take.  That's a bunch of books.

And bless 'em, Jayne's fans love inscriptions.  One lady, who asked that Jayne write "For Sue" in her book, gushed, "It'll be like I'm actually there!"  Most of her books have inscriptions.  Many of them are sent out of country. 

It's been great fun!

And with each order, we've asked how they want the books shipped.  The options are media (which takes anywhere from 3 to 10 days, but it's cheapest), media with tracking (which doesn't change the delivery date but you know where the package is, and it's only 50 cents more), priority (which is double the rate of media, but comes with automatic tracking and has a delivery date of 2 to 3 days) or via UPS (which is more expensive, has automatic tracking and is insured).  Folks outside the country got global priority, and that's all there is to that.

Most people chose media with tracking.  It's cheap and it's relatively secure.  Makes sense, right?

We warned folks that we had literally hundreds of these books to process, and it was gonna take some time.  We did all the prep work we could before the signing to make things go smoother.

So Jayne signed and signed and signed and signed.

And we've been shipping like mad fiends.  We even got some of the books in early and signed and mailed out, the ones overseas mostly. 

But it takes time. 

I don't know why any of us were surprised when we got calls and emails this morning, wondering where their books were.  I mean, Jayne signed YESTERDAY! So why don't they have their books NOOOOOOWWWWW!!!

People in Pennsylvania and Tennessee and Oklahoma.  Who paid for media (with tracking!) because, y'know, it's cheaper.  Want their books overnight.

Scotty, do we have the transporter ready?  What?  No?  Not online yet? 

Sheesh.  You just can't get good help.

Now one lady decided she had to have her book overnight.  She had originally asked for us to send it ground rate through UPS, but she's going out of town so she wanted her book now.  She lives in Texas. 

And she paid to have it overnighted.  Five times the cost of the book, but she paid, and willingly.

We're talking SERIOUS fans here!

So we're learning how to handle things, which will be good for Jayne's next book which comes out in December.  Granted, this one will be a hardcover, so we probably won't sell as many.  Still, we're putting things in place for it to be available for Christmas (despite an on-sale date of December 29th), so we might have a good-sized number.  Especially since they'll have their own unique packets as well.

Still.  Patience doesn't seem to be a virtue of Jayne's fans.  I can't blame them, but it alternates between amusing and annoying.

Ah, it's a good lesson for me.  I'm waiting on something I've been asking for and I know it's about to show up, but I'm having moments of impatience.  Not all the time, and I'm getting better, but I do understand the impulses.

So. . .can I have my patience, please?  And an extra helping for Jayne's friends, please?

Now?

Another take on health care

At dinner tonight, we talked about health care.  Aunt Helen's boyfriend, Johannes, is Dutch, and he marveled at the difference between his health care and ours. 

And the outstanding author, Jacqueline Winspear, spoke about her mother's experience with national health care in England.  It was illuminating and fascinating. 

So here is my friend, Kate Daniel, to give her perspective.  I've known Kate for years through the SCA, and she's thoughtful and creative and intelligent.  Without further ado, here's Kate's take on the health care situation.  It's a re-post from her FaceBook page.

"A Mini-Rant About Religiousity in this Country, and the Re-Writing of History"

So, I was going to post this on my "status update" but then it got too long. Go figure that one...

I just did the quiz "should 'under God' be removed from the Pledge of Allegiance"... Notwithstanding my vote (which was 'yes,' for those keeping score), it amazed me to see some of the comments from other voters, using the idea that this country was founded by religious leaders... Actually, this country was founded on religious freedoms. Dwight D. Eisenhower (if history is remembered correctly) added in that phrase during his Presidency... My mother remembers reciting the Pledge and not having that phrase in it... Why can't we just be one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all? That seems to be a very noble desire...

But, back to the concept of religious freedoms and the founding of the USA... The original settlers (notwithstanding the Native Americans) came to this land to escape the religious persecutions in England. Nowhere in the Declaration of Independence (that I have read) does it mention foundations in religion... If anything, it states that the founding fathers assume the powers of the earth and dissolve the political bands from England. It mentions "Nature's God," not a Christian god... This was in 1776... And then, in the Constitution, the word "God" is not found... Just to double-check my search function, I searched for the word "states" and found it many times...

And don't get me started about the Constitution's preamble, in which is written "promote the general Welfare..." If that's not universal health care, helping out all people of the United States, etc., then I don't know what is... Now we could quibble about who deserves health care (birth citizens, naturalized citizens, illegal immigrants, legal immigrants, kids born in the US regardless of citizenship), but that's a different rant...

And then, those folks who are comparing Obama's health care plan (which is getting pretty rinsed out, if you ask me) to a socialism plan and then confusing socialism with communism or fascism are a little off. This country has two socialist medicine models, both of which work pretty well... Those are Medicare (health care for those over 65 years of age, regardless of income status, etc.) and the VA benefits (health care for those who have served in the military). Socialism deems that all people get the same care. This is the case with Medicare (everyone over 65) and the VA (everyone who has served in the military)...

And just like I said during Bush's presidency, I can love my country, but not her president... That's fair for those who didn't vote for Obama to say... The freedoms on that this country was founded are wonderful!

And here is the end of my rant...

 

Thank you, Kate!

The end of PT!!!

I've finished physical therapy and I'm so pleased I can't even begin to tell you!

And I had to laugh.  They gave me one of those exit interview sheets -- how did we do, what can we do better, would you recommend us thingies -- and they promised me it was going to be confidential.  I had to snort. How many of us are doing our exits on the same day?  Really?

So since I figured they knew that it was me, and I knew it was me, why be shy?  So I told them what I thought.  Well kind of.  They only gave me a small, three-line box for comments.

What I wanted to say was something like:

I am grateful to feel better.  I really am.  But there are a few things that would have made this process easier, since coming to physical therapy was not something I was looking forward to in the first place, having had a bad experience in the past.

First of all, your intake interview was excellent.  Tanzy was thorough and professional and reassuring.  She took range-of-motion measurements and examined my knee carefully.  I was impressed and reassured.

So when, after I mentioned my partner, she refused to catch my eye but concentrated on her notes and her chart and my knee, I really didn't think anything of it except that she was focused and concentrating.  She was designated my primary care therapist, and when I got my list of times and dates and therapists, it was mostly Tanzy, with Kendra in twice.  I still have the list.

Which is why I was surprised when, on my next visit, LaCondra took me under her wing.  She was good, but not as sharp as Tanzy.  She was professional, although she did get a bit distracted at times.  Still, we formed a rapport and I felt comfortable working with her.  She obviously cared about my health.

But every time I saw Tanzy, she ignored me.  It was as if I wasn't in the room.  I tried to catch her eye, to wave, to say hi, and she was always looking somewhere else.  I caught the eyes of every other person who worked there at one point or another, but never Tanzy.  It was obvious she was avoiding me, and the only reason I can think of is because she knew I was gay.

Which I find surprising.  There was an entire week from the time I filled out the paperwork and gave over all my insurance information until my first appointment.  Since my partner was on all the paperwork, and in fact I told your in-take person about her, it can't have been a surprise.

It seems to me that your office staff should be aware of who has issues like this and who doesn't, and could have assigned someone to me who wasn't disturbed by the fact that I'm gay, as Tanzy obviously was.

Still, LaCondra worked very hard with me, which is why I was surprised when, for my last few visits, LaCondra was nowhere to be seen and Kendra stepped up to the plate. 

Mind you, Kendra is excellent, and her care was top-notch.  But I was disturbed the lack of continuity.  Going to physical therapy is stressful for many, and, as I said before, exceptionally stressful for me since I had had such a bad experience before.  So to be handed off constantly was disturbing and concerning to me.

Let me recommend that your office staff be more careful about signing up clients with therapists, that your therapists be better trained in customer service and personal interactions, and that you provide more consistent continuity of care.

That being said, my knee is much improved, and for that, as I said, I am quite grateful!

Anyway, that's what I would have said, but then I only had a small three-line box. 

Besides, I'm finished with it, and I'm incredibly pleased!

Now remember, tomorrow Kate will be guest blogging for me, and I know that you'll treat her with the generosity of spirit you've always shown me.

Music, music, music!

Oh hey, hi!  How are you?  How was your weekend?

I believe I said to someone, was it you?, that I was planning on spending my weekend rebuilding my iTunes playlists, since they didn't get saved as such.  And I've added so many songs that each one needs some work anyway.

Although I'm a little miffed that I can't find my copies of the Tannahill Weavers Capernaum or the Nylons Seamless.  I know they're here, I just KNOW it, but where?  Where?

Frustrating.

But I've got all kinds of songs swirling around in my head, and it's both confusing and beautifully overwhelming. 

For example, I found a song entitled "Our House".  I had to listen to the opening notes before I could figure out if it was Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young, or Madness.  Two different songs that go in two different categories when I'm composing playlists, but not everything I have is conveniently labeled. 

And I've revamped my playlists, which is always great fun -- something new and unexpected -- but time consuming.  And I can't always remember what goes where.

My playlists (right now, tomorrow? who knows) are:

Across America (songs that mention either America or places herein),

Buffett Ballads (the softer stuff from Jimmy and the Parrotheads),

Christmas,

Classical,

Country,

Duets (which has some surprising ones),

Foreign Lands,

Gaelic,

Instrumental (and with this one, you should go to YouTube and watch the one they wouldn't let me show you here),

Girl Songs,

Go-Softly (which is the mellower Indigo Girls stuff, so mostly Emily's stuff), 

Lillian,

Love Songs (which may just get synthesized into Lillian's playlist, because, well, duh),

Oldies (and this is Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin, not the Beatles and Cream),

Protest Songs,

Shop Songs (which may go away since I generally only listen to other playlists when I use my iPod there),

Silliness (for those humorous ones - and in this video, well, don't watch.  Just listen to the song.  The video's even sillier than the song.  Sadly, I couldn't find the video I wanted, which was John Gorka's "Up Until Then"),

Singles,

Softer Songs,

Soundtracks,

Stories,

Sweet Melissa (for her softer stuff), and

Upbeat.

I think that's all.  So far. 

Of course there are the ones that come standard with iTunes -- Top 25, Most Recently Played, things like that.  

Then again I get snippets of songs mushed together, and they come out just wrong.  When the words to "Center Stage" by the Indigo Girls gets juxtaposed with "Centerfield" by John Fogerty, there's no telling where I'll put a song.

But it's been amazing, having all these songs floating around in my head and on my computer. 

And yeah, there's some music that's here just for me.  I'm reasonably certain that if anyone ever looked all the way through my music, eyebrows would be raised.  Even Lillian shakes her head at some of my music.

Like Patti Page.  What can I say?  I grew up with her.  And Rosemary Clooney.

Well, let's face it, I've got everything from Bruce Willis to George Strait to Steeleye Span to Phil Ochs to Feist.  And I know, I just know there's all kinds of stuff I'm missing.  Music I haven't been introduced to yet or that I've simply forgotten. 

Now I'll grant you, at about 3500 songs, I'm not short on music, but I know there's more. 

Hey, maybe I should have some sort of contest!  I've never done that here.  It could be fun, if people would participate.  I'll have to think about that.  I don't have ANY idea what I'd give away as prizes but I'm sure I could think of something!  Hmm, must contemplate this.

Anyway, that's what I've been up to.  I hope you had a great weekend.

Oh, and on Tuesday, I'm going to have a guest blogger.  Lillian and I have a dinner date with her aunt, so I'll be tired and Katie has offered to step in (thanks, Katie!).  I know y'all will make her welcome.

And if you've got ideas on a musical contest, feel free to shout them out.  I think it could be fun!

 

Something a bit lighthearted

Mostly tonight will be just a cut-n-paste.  I've been going non-stop since a week ago Tuesday and I'm running basically on fumes.  After tomorrow I get some much-needed down time, but for now, pretty much everything in my head is eggplant parfait: kinda purplish and frothy and, while pretty, not really appetizing.

However, today Jayne Ann Krentz came in to see how things are progressing with her big project (the answer is quite nicely and impressively).  She'd had the packets to be sent out with the new book delivered and wanted to be sure we were holding up, that there wasn't anything else to do besides sign. 

Well, and talk about what we're going to do to help promote the next book in December, and we had some fun ideas about that.  It should be another whirlwind.

But while we were visiting, she told me about something she'd seen today, and I have to share it.

She was shopping in one of the Name Stores downtown, I don't remember which one, Nordstrom or Eileen Fisher or Barneys or something.  And a guy came in, obviously homeless.  Cleanish, but obviously out of place.  And he lived up to expectations, picking up a bunch of cashmere sweaters and running towards the door.

A sales clerk saw what he was doing.  She was at the back of the store, he was halfway to the door, and she shrieked.  Loudly. And she came charging at him, howling all the way, apparently things like, "You stop that!" and "Oh no you don't!" and "Don't you dare!" 

Did I mention she was LOUD? 

And Jayne said she was frozen.  She'd seen it, but what she was seeing hadn't quite caught up to her brain, and all she could do was stand and stare.

Now the guy could have made it out the door, no question. He was so far away from the sales lady and so much closer to the door there was no contest.

But his eyes got huge, he dropped the sweaters, and backed away toward the door.  And he said, "I'm sorry, Mother!" 

Then he bolted.

Jayne said he suddenly looked like he was about four years old.  She and everyone else laughed, it was such a surprise.  And when Jayne complimented the sales lady on her technique, the lady said, "I worked retail in New York for YEARS.  No way was he getting away with that!"

Gotta love New York moxie!  And the memory of a scary mommy!

Anyway, that's really all I have for today.  But my friend Jeff sent me this list, and I'm not going to copy it all here, it's far too long, but there are some other humorous and perhaps a bit close-to-home observations.  I don't know who wrote them, but kudos to you, whoever you are! 

So enjoy, and have a great weekend!

Random Thoughts of the Day

• I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

 

• Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

 

• Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

 

• Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

 

• The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.

 

• Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

 

• There is a great need for sarcasm font.

 

• Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the fuck was going on when I first saw it.

 

• I think everyone has a movie that they love so much; it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.

 

• I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

 

• The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

 

• I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

 

• Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.

 

• My brother's Municipal League baseball team is named the Stepdads. Seeing as none of the guys on the team are actual stepdads, I inquired about the name. He explained, "Cuz we beat you, and you hate us." Classy, bro.

 

• Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

 

• How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

 

• I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

 

• MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

 

• Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

 

• I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

 

• Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

 

• I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

 

• Bad decisions make good stories

 

• If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.

 

• Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from; this shouldn't be a problem....

 

• You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

 

• Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

 

• I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

 

• "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.

 

• While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for China and USA . No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that when Chinese athletes don't win, they are executed.

 

• I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

 

• I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

 

• I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

 

• Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...

 

• As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

 

• Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

 

• It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

 

• I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

 

• I think that if, years down the road when I'm trying to have a kid, I find out that I'm sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.

 

• Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.

 

• Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...

 

• It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.

 

• I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

Word love

I'm a Gemini and am, therefore, fickle in some of my affections.  This is one of the things Lillian loves about me.  Well, except when it drives her batty.

Periodically, though, I fixate on a word or phrase that just captures my imagination, and I'll use it until people want to hit me with hammers to make me shut up.

Hey, at least I'm aware of it!  Not everyone is!

And these phases pass, to eventually be replaced by something else.  I am, after all, a Gemini.  Back in October of 2006, if you were around then, you might remember my fascination with the phrase "leaf peeping", which still amuses me no end.  And I continue to assert that it sounds naughty.

However lately I've been taken over by the word "squick".  It's just such a great word!

Okay, not the BDSM definition, which is pretty much squicky in its own right (I'm not telling you, go to Urban Dictionary and look it up there if you must know).  But the general definition.

It's something that provokes a visceral, physical response.  It's not "disgust", which is kinda judgemental.  This is something that just causes a physical response, and that response has to be negative.  That wince-and-look-away kinda thing.  Or the uncontrolled need to hurl.

I figure my response to spiders is pretty much a squick thing, because they shouldn't scare the bejeebers out of me, and yet they do.

But mostly it's reserved for thoughts and images that just make you feel all squirmy and yucky.  Like Rush Limbaugh naked.

Squick!

No value judgment there, I'm glad he bathes (at least I assume he does) and one has to assume he does so as the rest of us do, sans clothing, but the fleeting mental picture?  Squick! 

It's the same reaction I used to get from my students, who believed they INVENTED sex, when I pointed out that their grandparents had sex.  And probably still did.

Squick!  Oh the shudders, the crumpled, pinched-in faces!  Priceless!

There are so many squicky things.  Lillian's got some friends online who go out of their way to photoshop stuff that leads to the squick-factor.  And of course she shares.  We use the phrase "what has been seen cannot be unseen" a lot when they're in fine form.

Then too, there's a whole bunch of photoshopping that sets my squick in motion, especially the pictures of people who have been. . .altered. . .in some mechanical way.  They're beautiful, and I can't look at them.  You know what I mean, don't you?  If not, I bet my friend Bob can find some for you.   People with zippers embedded.  Things like that.

I know, not a pretty thought, is it, and yet this is the word that I have taken to my heart.

I think one of the reasons I like it so much is because of the juxtaposition -- how it sounds versus what it means.

After all, if you just say "squick", it sounds kinda harmless and friendly and funny.  Like the sound your shoes make in a movie theatre after a kids' matinee.  "Squick squick squiiiick-pop!" as your shoe finally comes free from the sticky stuff.

So the fact that this cute and harmless sounding word really means something so completely wrong that it provokes an adversarial physical response is just charming to me somehow.

Did I mention I'm a Gemini, and consistency isn't really my forte'?

Anyway, for the next couple of weeks, I suspect those near and dear to me will hear about things that squick, or I find squicky, or that squick me out.  Rest assured I'll try to control it, but rest equally assured that as soon as another word or phrase captures my imagination, "squick" will be yesterday's news.

Squick!